27 Things Dogs Must Try to Remember
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff even though
I haven't gotten the chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
- I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before I enter the house.
- I will not eat the cat's food, before or after they eat it.
- I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet
in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
- I will not throw up in the car.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
- I will not lick my human's face after eating animal dung.
- "Kitty box crunchies" are not food!
- I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the
backyard or house depending on which end processes it first.
- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
- I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell him.
- I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my
people will think I am hemorraging.
- I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my
people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it.
- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when
it's raining outside.
- We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
- I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
- The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and car registration.
- I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is
carrying her coffee, so she won't trip over me.
- I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not
eat someone's food if they leave it for just a moment.
- I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen
so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don't want to stay outside
for more than two minutes.
- I will not chase the cat and knock over breakable things in the process.
- I will allow Mom and Dad some room and covers when we go to bed.
- Author Unknown.
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