How to Photograph a Puppy
- Take the cap off the camera lens.
- Remove the lens cap from puppy's mouth and throw the mangled cap into the trash.
- Remove the puppy from the trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
- Choose suitable background for photo.
- Mount camera on tripod and focus.
- Find puppy and take dirty sock out of the mouth.
- Place puppy in prefocused spot and return to camera.
- Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
- Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with the other hand.
- Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
- Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
- Put magazines back on coffee table.
- Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
- Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
- Jump up in time to pick up the puppy and say in a sing-song voice, "No! Pee-pee outside!"
- Change out of urine-stained clothes, then grab a wad of paper towels to clean up mess on carpet.
- Sit back in chair for deep breathing and resolve to teach puppy to "sit"
and "stay" first thing next morning.
- Author Unknown.
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